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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in baysideisacult's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, March 21st, 2006
12:36 am
I've done a lot of things that I'm very ashamed of lately. I could never apologize enough for the person I have become. I'm afraid of everything and I don't trust anything and I pull out for no reason. I shut myself off. I can't talk to anyone. I'm fucking weak. I need to stop dragging people into this with me. I need to avoid developing any sort of relationship with anyone so that I don't ruin anymore lives. I'm running myself into the ground. I have 45 minutes a day, on stage, where nothing matters. Where I can shut the world off and be in my own. The problem is, when my 45 minutes are up, I spent the rest of the day striving for that zone again. I need to realize that I can't shut the world off for the rest of the day. It's not my world when I'm off the stage. I can't ruin people's lives and not give a shit anymore. I wish I could be on stage for 15 hours a day, where nothing i did could hurt anyone. that's just not realistic. I'm sorry if I ever ruined your life. I'm sorry if I ignored you at a show. I'm sorry if I was hiding backstage under a table while you were waiting to see me. It's not meant to be malicious. I'm more afraid of you then you are of me. I'm not a rockstar. I'm not a playboy. I'm a scared kid that is constantly in over his head.
Monday, July 4th, 2005
1:05 am
4th Of July! Booooo!
I hate the 4th of July. It's like a long serious of pots and pans dropping, doors slamming and car accidents. Those are very unpleasant sounds, much like the sounds made by fireworks. Besides the fact that Im always afraid that a rocket or some shit is going to drop down on my head. They have to come down right? One day I, going to invent some fireworks that have all the pretty lights and maintain thier level of danger (to ensure optimum excitment) except they will make sounds like harps and pianos. I feel like Vietnam is outside my door. That's not my idea of a good time.

On another note, going back on tour very soon. For the last 7 months I've been sitting home, going to bars, writting and recording a record and doing a few short tours so I can't wait to get back out for a nice long full US tour. After that, I'll be in Europe for a bit with some really great friends and then coming back to the states for another long US tour with more good friends. The summer and fall look great. New record comes out on August 23rd and I'm real excited about that. Shooting a video in like 4 days with Major Leightner in NYC which should also be alot of fun. My birthday is soon. Buy me something nice

Current Mood: annoyed
Sunday, March 13th, 2005
3:07 am
I've been in the studio in Manhatten for the last couple of weeks. We put up a studio journal at www.baysiderocks.com . If you're interested in what's happening in my day to day life, which you probably are if you read this, then check that out. it's got lots of pictures and stuff to.
Monday, February 21st, 2005
4:03 pm
i think i lost my mind. i don't think i've said a rational thing or made a conscious decision in days. i quit my job out of insanity. i'm officially insane. and all i am listening to is david bowie. blah blah blah.
Thursday, February 10th, 2005
1:00 pm
why can't i just get some sleep? i've given up sleeping and eating. i'm losing my mind. nothing but coffee, cigarettes and grief for the last few weeks and I'm freaking out. i need a vacation from my life.
Tuesday, February 1st, 2005
11:03 pm
my life fell apart in the last 2 days. I'm trying to put it back together. i feel miserable. music is still good though. stevie wonder and Benny Goodman may have saved my life this afternoon
Monday, January 10th, 2005
6:52 am
it is almost 7am on monday morning. I've been up all night. I just played Duck Hunt and listened to Boys II Men for 2 hours and now I'm watching "You got Served". I spent $100 on a pair of Nike's and besides the clerk at the shoe store and my mom I don't think I've had any human contact today. I just put it all together and realized how lame my life is and how I really can't wait to get back on tour. Just thought I would share.
Thursday, January 6th, 2005
5:17 pm
The small break for the holidays was really nice but it's time to get back to work. We are currently locked in our practice room in Lindinhurst Long island. We're writting the record in the same room that TBS wrote "Where You Want to Be", Brand New wrote "Deja Entendu", the Movielife wrote "40 Hour Train..." and the Sleeping wrote "Believe What We Tell You" so hopefully those dudes all left some inspiration on the walls for us whille we write. We'll be entering Loho Studios in Manhatten on March 1st to start tracking the record with super producers Shep and Kenny. They've written and produced records for Mandy Moore, LFO, Vitiman C, Hall and Oates, Marcy Playground and a bunch of others. We're real excited about it. That's pretty much all i got right now. I've been listening to alot of Nick Cave and Johnny Cash

ant
Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
2:57 pm
it's like 3pm on wednsday. Christmas was good. work is good. writting is amazing. i'm so excited about the writting that's been happening. the new record is going to be incredible. i can't wait for everyone to hear it. we're going to play a few one off shows in the north east mostly in february to showcase the new stuff. we have some cool shows in the works. we're going to be playing mostly new stuff at them. i'm very stoked. today i sprayed deodorant in my coffee. that sucked. i think Nick has Mono. i hate snow. my ipod is still missing but it's ok cause some maniac decided to approve me for a credit card. been going to a bunch of shows lately. got to see my old buddies Diaz, Jesse, John, Jenna, Derrick, Christian and Laura and we went to Fridays. I had the Jack Daniels Bacon Burger. Jesse bought a truck with a snorkle that goes under water. The holidays are awsome cause everyone comes home from tour.

ant
2:53 pm
it's like 3pm on wednsday. Christmas was good. work is good. writting is amazing. i'm so excited about the writting that's been happening. the new record is going to be incredible. i can't wait for everyone to hear it. we're going to play a few one off shows in the north east mostly in february to showcase the new stuff. we have some cool shows in the works. we're going to be playing mostly new stuff at them. i'm very stoked

ant
Sunday, December 19th, 2004
10:37 am
Home for a long time
Well after exactly 79 days and nights, I am finally home. It feels nice. Just got home on friday afternoon and I already started working at the mall again on saturday. I never get a break. Jack's on vacation in Ireland for a few weeks, John Beatz is home in Jersey and leaving for Florida soon and Me and Nick are here in NY working at the mall. We're so excited to get started writing the new record. We're gonna be home for about 2 months to work on it. It's gonna be awsome. We had a ton of fun on the tour. All the bands we toured with were amazing. Mest, Hawthorne Heights, Punchline, Lola Ray, The Sleeping, Brandston, Action Action, the Black Maria and My Chemical Romance. All Amazing dudes, great bands and amazing people to spend the last 2 1/2 months with.

Went to a party in LI last night that basically made up of the Sleeping kids, November Kills kids and everyone that I work with at Urban. Good time. Definitly very weird to see those people outside of work. Anyone that is in Long island should come visit me at Urban in Roosevelt Field cause I get so bored.

So I lost my Ipod the other day and I am crushed. It's not so much that I lost an expensive thing, it just sucks that I have to collect all that music again. I want to Put a list of everything I need to get again somewhere and my address and ask everyone to send me cds. That would be awsome but i doubt it would work.
Thursday, October 28th, 2004
2:19 am
longest tour ever
Well I have'nt posted in here in a whille. This tour seems like it's been 3 years long. So many long drives and long shows. Mest has definitly been giving us a run for our money as far as the after parties go too. All of the guys in Mest, Hawthorne Heights, Lola Ray and Punchline have been absolutly amazing to us. We've been having a great time. It was real cool getting back out to the west coast again. We've been writting tons of songs on the road. After this tour we're going to be going out on our first headlining tour ever and then after that we're gonna be locked up in the studio working on a new record that will be out mid next year. I can't wait. Of course I'm sick again. Last night in Pontiac i played with a fever. We rushed through like 5 songs whille i was in so much pain and I just ran off stage, threw up, took some Nyquil and 2 tylonol PMs (thanks to Steve from Punchline) and passed out until this morning. We hung out in Detroit the other night with some of the Mest dudes, the Suicide Machines dudes and the guys from a new band we just met called Just Ask. It was an awsome time. This tour has really been one of the funnest we've ever been on. Great guys all around. In the spirit of Bayside's bad luck, we've gone threw 6 tires in 8 weeks. Pretty impressive. I have the flu. Nick had pink eye. Beats thinks he broke his collar bone and I'm pretty sure Jack has been alright. I've been listening to alot of Johnny Cash lately. I wonder if that's gonna influence our new songs. haha. That's pretty much all I got right now. I miss home. I miss my mom.
Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
11:09 am
i'm sick. i hate being sick. who doesn't? i just want to breath out of my nose again. that's all. tour with Hawthorne Heights has been amazing. thanks to everyone who has been coming out. it has made us feel so amazing that so many people are coming to the shows now and supporting our band still. we are going to be doing a headline tour in the winter. Our first headline tour. we're super nervous but super excited about it too. It's just gonna be north east, south east and some mid west. We'll be announcing the cities and support bands soon. We went with a lineup of all bands that we love the most and we think our fans will too. we leave for the mest tour soon. that should be really awsome. we starting getting really into spray painting things on t shirts so look for us wearing shirts with lots of wierd sayings on them. the new season of dead like me is absolutly amazing. i love that show so much. i've heard a bunch of songs from the Counting Crows tribute and they are fantastic. i think everyone is really going to enjoy it. i got my elbow tatooed and it hurt like hell. i couldn't believe how bad it hurt. i couldn't straighten my arm for like 3 days. i'm a wimp. i got nothing to say

Current Mood: sick
Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
3:28 pm
oh yeah, internet shit talking is why people in bands never have these things
these are some of the unsigned/not that well known bands that I've been listening to lately. you should listen to them too. take advantage of the days of digital music and fast internet connections and find some new music to listen to.

1.The Sleeping www.purevolume.com/thesleeping
2.A Day at the Fair www.purevolume.com/dayatthefair
3.Eisley www.eisley.com
4.A Second Chance www.purevolume.com/asecondchance
5.A Late Design www.purevolume.com/alatedesign

So tour with fall out boy was amazing. the fob, armor for sleep and name taken guys were all amazing. tons of great stories but none I should put on the internet. We're going on warped tour starting on Sunday. that should be alot of fun. Then we go on tour with catch 22 and punchline, then on tour with hawthorn heights, then on a full US tour with Mest from October 6th - November 17th. Those should all be alot of fun. I'm reading a great book called "Fast Food Nation" by Eric Schlosser. It's really interesting. It's about big buisness,mainly fast food, and thier beginnings and current effects on the world. It's interesting. I'm smoking 2 packs of Marlboro mediums a day. Speaking of cigarettes, all the cigarettes in NY now are made so that if they sit for 30 seconds they go out on thier own. So insane. So now you have to smaoke them without pausing for 30 seconds inbetween drags. Yesterday was my birthday and I got to see pretty much all of my friends and at least speak to most of my family. It was awsome. I didn't do anything very exciting but it was nice. My mom took me out for dinner and I ate lobster and it was fantastic. I've been working alittle since I've been home, watching alot of TV, practicing etc.. the season of Dead Like Me started, which is my favorite show. I must say I'm very excited about that. I can't think of anything else to say
Friday, July 9th, 2004
1:53 am
Thanks to everyone that came out to the show in Chicago on Tuesday. It was so much crazier then we could have ever expected. hope everyone had as good of a time as we did. We've been out with Fall Out boy, Armor for Sleep and the Academy for 2 days now and it has been amazing. All the bands and thier crews are such awsome guys and the shows have been great. there was 900 kids at the show last night and tonight sold out at 400. We're all real excited about the next few weeks. I've been listening to alot of the new muse record lately. So awsome. I had a great candy bar today, the hersheys cookies and mint. a fantastic snack. can't talk long. thanks to everyone who has made these last few days amazing and we hope to see alot more firmiliar faces in the next 4 weeks.
Monday, July 5th, 2004
12:49 pm
we're in chicago right now with our good buddy the double j show. Home was nice for a few days. i worked for a few days, wrote a whole bunch of new songs, got drunk a bunch. I haven't updated in a whille, I'm sure must have good stuff to say. Tour with the Riddlin Kids and Autopilot Off was great. Riddlin Kids are some of our best buds on the road. We almost got into a fight in St.Petersburg. I was walking down the street by myself and some kid from another show with his buddies threw a cigarette at me and started trying to pick a fight with me. I go back to our show, mention something about it in passing and all of our band, crew and the riddlin kids run out to this other show. it was a mess. In brighter news, the 6 of us went to disney world. It was a fantastic time, thanks to our friend anne. We went on some MGM Studios roller coasters, some magic kingdom goodness and of course, the bitchen safari at the Animal Kingdom. It was awsome. Last night was the 4th of July. I went with our Double J and the amazing jesse to see the counting crows and t was amazing. Double j had inns with thier manager and we got backstage passes and got to watch from the stage. Good times. Gonna go get ready cause we have to record today.
Saturday, May 29th, 2004
5:15 pm
i just read a review of our record that says

"the singer just cries and cries, threatening suicide over and over without ever following through. Jerks like this need to realize that (a)there are more than one woman in the world (b) they're blessed as fuck to be rich white people free of disease and (c) life's going to kill them soon enough so they'd might as well try to have fun whille it's syill an option.
They're awfully good melodicists but christ, don't any bands form for the pussy anymore? The Pussy Pussy Pussy???"

I'm not going to comment on this other then the fact that it proves my point that reviews and reviewers are commpletely rediculous. I just thought you would find it funny
Thursday, May 27th, 2004
12:26 pm
Random Ipod List-

New Born - Muse
A Night Like This - The Cure
Gansters - The Specials
She's Electric - Oasis
Like I Love You - Justin Timberlake
11:11 - The Stryder
Mad World - Gary Jules
Panic (Live) - The Smiths
Higher Ground - Stevie Wonder
Mystery Of Chessboxing - Wu Tang Clan

Guess who is playing a free show in Chicago on the 4th of July? Guess...
Ok, the Counting Crows. Guess who will be there without a doubt. You got it, Me.

Speaking of Counting Crows, I'll be recording Long December for a Counting Crows tribute in Chicago 4th of July weekend. Sweet!

2 more episodes of the Sopranos left in the season! In case you live under a rock, they wacked Adriana. Crazy shit.

$2 pitchers and 10 cent wings at Boss Crogers last night. Good times.

If there was a triathalon in the olympics consisting of playing guitar in your bedroom, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes...i would win the gold.

I miss Jim, Jack and Andrew. I can't wait to go back on tour.

I heard our video is done. With any luck, it should be on the old interweb soon for your viewing pleasure. Maybe even MTV, then my mom can freak out and call all her friends.

Next time I wear my Red and Black stripped sweater, the next time someone says "hey freddy kruger" I'm going to slit their throats. Basically everytime I wear it some unoriginal jerk says it. Me and Fiedler and Kosker from the Juliana Theory almost brawled these 2 frat dudes on the street in Boulder, CO for over that shit.

Can I possibly have the most random thinking process in the world?
Wednesday, May 19th, 2004
5:16 am
Boycot gas!
Today, May 19th, is national "Don't Buy Gas Day". If at all possible, please help out and boycot the oil companies today. Just one day of a few million people not buying any gas does make a HUGE difference and could help send a message to the oil companies that the prices of gas are just too high right now. I don't know about where you guys are, but in NYC gas is up to $2.30+ a gallon. Please help send the message to the oil companies and don't buy any gas today and tell your friends to do the same.
Wednesday, May 12th, 2004
2:31 pm
random thoughts
gee, that new Jet single sure does'nt sound like every ac/dc song.....

I put my IPOD on random and these are the first 10 songs that came up, just thought I'd share-
1. Am I Wrong- Love Spit Love
2. These Days- Nico
3. Hometown- Joe Jackson
4. Hater Players- Mos Def and Talib Kweli
5. Just Like Kurt- Weston
6. Stay Away- Nirvana
7. I'm an African- Dead Prez
8. Seasick Yet Still Docked- Morriseey
9. Julia- The Beatles
10. Tara Reid is a Whore- Head Automatica

i think i wear too much black and my suitcase is too big.

American Movie is probably the best movie I've ever seen.

I have to take a shower.

Cigarettes keep me company.

I'm sure no one cares about any of this.
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